Midnight Reflections

Children are a blessing, but there are days and nights that are harder than others.  At one point or another you’ll hear the words most of us despise.

“You’ll miss these days”

They come at the most inconvenient times, like while your child is screaming and throwing a fit. We usually roll our eyes at the old phrase, thinking on how little of a consolation the words are at that very moment.  At least, that’s how I used to be with my first three children.  With each of them being a year to a year and a half apart, the messes were constant and the crying a normally occurrence. There were days I didn’t know how I’d get through.

As the kids got older and after finding out about my boys’ genetic condition, the days got harder but not for the reasons as with normal kids.  The late nights, the pulse scares, the seizures, and the list goes on.  The weariness and the restlessness came to a halt as their condition peaked in 2018 when I lost them both four months apart from each other.

Fast forward to now, I find myself getting up with our almost four month old daughter.  I’m brought back to those nights of crying and restlessness.  While I was pregnant, I would think about how hard the nights might be, but to my surprise, I found myself crying in fondness as I looked at my little girl.  All the memories came flooding back of her brothers, hearing their voices and remembering their faces.  “You’ll miss these days”, hit me so hard in that moment.

As difficult as they were, the late nights of being by my sons’ side are some of my fondest memories.  Looking at their beautiful faces, running my hands through their hair, and singing and praying over them.  I’d give anything to be able to have those moments with them again.

After years of being on the receiving end of that timeless cliché, I find myself being the one saying this to mothers and watching their eyes roll at me.  I understand the reaction but I now see the wisdom behind those words as I’m going through motherhood round two.  They play in my mind each night and through every hard moment I go through, because as the words suggest, they won’t last forever and you miss things from every stage. Cherish what you have while you can, because our time with our kids only grows shorter not longer.

It feels good to get back behind the keyboard to write to you all! God bless and I'll see you next time!